So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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