At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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