I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
