I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize