theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His hands were made for my vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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