Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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