I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I need to calm my uterus...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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