i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
