i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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