When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
