The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
