Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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