yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
