I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
