Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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