naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
