My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
