i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
