I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
