So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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