I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We're like a lot better than the average bears
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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