I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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