Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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