My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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