Kiss
Puke
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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