I just saw a hot homeless man
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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