I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
