Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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