i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
