Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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