and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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