We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
