If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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