peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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