I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
