I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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