Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have aggressive nipples.
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