I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
