I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
