that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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