tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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