I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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