quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
