I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
