Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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