maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
