im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
