only if we run a train.
done.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
