I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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