I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
