i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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