Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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