Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
