i jhust puked up my retainher.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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