Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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