why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
