so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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