Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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