Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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